step by step... day by day

step one - wake up

So, I don't know how other people wake up when they don't have an alarm set to wake them up, but I am usually awakened by my dog, Disa (aka my four legged furry special needs* dog). This morning her method of choice was to headbutt me be in the back(I was sleeping on my side), as if trying to slide her nose under my back to get to the mattress, and then use that momentum to try to propel herself to roll over onto her back. This attempt led her to then kick me/dig her back paws into my back, and yes, at this point I'm awake. Thank you Disa. I'm up now.

step 2 - check sugar/take meds (I'm a type 1 diabetic so I take insulin via a pump, and I have Hashimoto's disease - a thyroid condition that I take oral medication for)

step 3 - get the brain going to start the day/mental rant about being woken up

It's as if she doesn't know that Baby is on his/her way and I will never sleep-in again. She certainly does know though. She's seen Mommy's belly getting bigger, she has adjusted well to the crib that we assembled very early so that she would get used to the new furniture, and by adjusted well I mean she has taken a liking to sleeping under it, and she respects the baby gate that we recently put up to block her from access to Baby's room. Yup, we are taking all of the necessary steps to try to make the transition into being a big sister as smooth as possible for her. It's what good dog Moms do. We will continue to do anything we have to in order to make sure that we all can co-exist peacefully once Baby gets here. So many other dog parents, who aren't used to a special needs* dog, get pregnant/have a baby, and then get rid of their furry family member via throwing them on the street, putting them in a shelter, etc. Not cool at all, and that crap really needs to stop.

*special needs dog = our very hyperactive, smart, not so great on walks when she sees other dogs, 65lb rescued brindle pitbull mix. She is the most amazing animal I've ever met, yet her stubbornness, vocal ability, and occasional behavioral outbursts are more than a lot of people would have been able to handle. We got her from the New York City Animal Care & Control center in Harlem when she was 10 months old. Next month we'll have had her for 4 years, and though she still has some issues, she has certainly come a long way. I'm certain she will continue to improve, and we will help her through any difficulties in her adjustment period, because she is a part of our family. You wouldn't just give your child up for adoption if they had some behavioral problems... would you? No, I know you wouldn't. So people, start treating your animals like the family members they are and work through it.

So let me get you up to speed with the human part of the family know that you know all about the dog. Me: 26 year old female, married my (female) high school best friend/sweetheart in 2007 (we legally married in California in 2008), graduated last August with a Master's Degree in Social Work, worked a FT job until April when I had enough of working for lying/cheating bosses running a non-profit, temping since then, now on my break from work and studying FT until my licensing exam to become a New York State Certified Social Worker, which happens to be next week. Did I mention that my wife is 29 weeks pregnant with our first baby? Do you see now why sleep is so precious to me at this point in time? I'm almost unable to calm my brain down at night until 2am. Highly irregular for me and I don't like it, not one bit.

As for specifics regarding my pregnant wife, I'm not too sure what she'd like me to share, she's a much more private person, so you'll get the abbreviated version. Her: beautiful, incredibly intelligent/highly educated, funny, kind, hard working, loves children+animals, enjoys family time, watches lots of CSI after work to unwind, and has had the ability to deal with me everyday of her life for the last ten years.

So, we'll be 29 weeks pregnant tomorrow, and it has taken us a lot of steps to get here. We are up to the step where we need to contact an adoption agency, so that a social worker will come to our home and tells us that our apartment is safe to raise a child in, and we can fulfill that requirement of my second parent adoption process (oh, and they get to come in after the baby is born as well, to make sure that we haven't let anything bad happen to the baby in the first few days). We've already met with our lawyer, created wills, made arrangements for our unborn child/future children in the event of a catastrophe that leads to both of our untimely and simultaneous deaths, and now we have to find a social worker who is not only a dog person, but also does not have a negative view of pitbulls. Um.. yea, I'm not sure how simple this step is going to be. On top of that I get a little bitter when I think about how many extra steps I have to take in order to become a parent than a heterosexual, but then I know there are gay and heterosexual second parents who go through the process to adopt their partner's children, so I know my struggle is not truly unique, it just feels that way sometimes.

I should really get on to the next step in my day, which is studying for the next 5 hours. But just in case anyone actually reads this, my plans for this blog are to talk about my parenting struggles with Disa, the parenting actions (of both animal and human parents) I see/hear and hope to avoid in my own parenting, parenting and the LGBT community, and the day to day things I'll learn leading up to/including/going forward from Baby's arrival. Of course I'm sure there will be many things in between, but I just feel like I need to create this so other "about-to-be" or "new" non-bio moms can have a place to relate. In terms of being a non-bio mom to human babies, I think we're a pretty small group of ladies, and I don't think there are many of us that are my age, but I'm hoping this blog will bring us all a little closer together, and let us share our laughs along the way.